she asked for vivid voice:
loud laughing; an open truth
empty of language; an epic
easy to tell but - improbable
with more device than plot.

we skimmed that sad, haunting fiction
until i longed to begin a new mystery
with whispers of an ancient desire:
a beautiful drama with pages full
of writ my soul could judge.

come. discover this story with me
the only tome that curls the spine
of an old volume of fear. mark
each word and sentence
– how we turn and grow
chapter by chapter.

~ MEH

we skimmed that sad, haunting fiction
until i longed to begin a new mystery
with whispers of an ancient desire:
a beautiful drama with pages full
of writ my soul could judge.

come. discover this story with me
the only tome that curls the spine
of an old volume of fear. mark
each word and sentence
– how we turn and grow
chapter by chapter.

novel romance

she asked for a vivid voice:
an open truth of loud laughing,
empty of language; an epic
easy to tell but strange, improbable
with more device than plot.

we skimmed the sad, haunting fiction
until i longed to begin a new mystery
with whispers of an ancient desire:
a beautiful drama with full pages
my soul could judge.

come. discover this story with me
the only tome that curls the spine
of an old volume of fear. write each word
then sentence – mark how we turn,
and grow chapter by chapter.

~ MEH

- What is the POV and setting of this tale, where is it grounded?

- the “you” is unclear. Should the reader see themselves as the person being addressed?

-furthermore, the “you” seems to shift: how could the speaker be critical and want out in the first two stanzas, and then change tone to find discovery with the same person in the last stanza?

- do you actually have something concrete behind each metaphor?

ugh. Back to the drawing board.

you ask for some vivid voice:
an open truth of loud laughing,
empty of language; an epic
easy to tell but strange,
with more device than plot.

i long to escape from here
skim this sad, haunting fiction
and begin a new mystery –
whisper an ancient desire,
speak a beautiful drama in full spirit
and fill pages my soul can judge.

come. discover this story with me
the only tome that curls the spine
of an old volume of fear. write each word
then sentence – mark how we turn,
wander, though grow chapter by chapter.

~ MEH