“marriage” And “weddings”
Jolene is in Africa. She has posted a question/comment about the nature of marriage in a different cultural setting. (Read about that here)
There has been various comments about the differences between marriage and weddings as cultural or divinely inspired events. As a philosophy and sociology teacher who was raised as a theologian, I can’t help myself.
Yes, there is a difference between wedding ceremonies and marriages. The ceremony itself is a cultural phenomenon, and is a completely subjective expression of a culture’s mores. However, as a Christian it is easy to quote various OT and NT passages to say that marriage is a divine institution, and thus all cultures should adapt to a ‘biblical’ world view. This of course negates, or at least forgets about the fact that the bible was written in different cultures and at different times.
People need to be careful not to say “one husband/one wife” and cite the bible. Some of those passages refer specifically to church leaders, esp in the NT. Others are within the OT culture, which, being semitic, practiced multiple marriages. All of the patriarchs had multiple wives, not to mention the kings. The Jewish concept at the time (just like the Arab, Persian, Mormon, as well as most of the other polygamous cultures of today) was that you can have as many wives, and children, as you are able to support, love and care for.
There are two obvious ‘good chrisitan’ replies to this:
1. But those are heathens or OT Jews and we have a new order with Jesus, so ignore them.
And
2. The NT paints the picture of marriage as a reflection of the relationship between Christ and the Church.
RE: 1 ~ Seriously?
RE: 2 ~ How is many spouses that you care for to the best of your ability against the love of Christ for the chruch? How are the passages in Ephesians negated by a husband giving himself for more than one wife, or a wife loving more than one husband. Isn’t Christ the “Groom” and the Church the “Bride”? Aren’t there a lot of us in the Church who Christ loves equally, and gave Himself for equally, even though we say that we collectively make up the “Bride?”
My point is NOT to advocate polygamy in general.
However when we are talking about how we present the Gospel to another culture which has already been screwed over by bad cultural theology from previous missionaries, who did not take the time to learn the culture that they are interacting with, before they told them to change their culture to be “biblical” (i.e. on God’s good side), I think the original assumptions of what really IS ‘biblical’ should be addressed, esp before we claim that the Western ideals are ‘godly’ because we use the bible to proof-text our position.
/end rant.
Comments welcome.
proof-texting… what a crazy idea… and a dangerous one, too. if one’s primary interaction with the scriptures is to find proof-texts to support one’s positions, well…
because polygamists can find plenty of texts to “prove” polygamy stance and slave-owners can find proof texts to prove their injustice and so on.
so. i guess that begs the question “what do we DO with the bible?” and that… that is a very good question.
gary said this on January 23rd, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Yeah, ok, not helping …
Does ANYBODY have a clear definition about what marriage is supposed to be? It’s like marriage just IS. In the same way people understand parent/child relationships, marriage is just talked about like it IS. Does that mean that the “right” definition is inherently known to all of us if we just care enough to apply the morals on our hearts? Or does it mean that whatever culture says is marriage is what it is? Or … what???
Jolene said this on January 23rd, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Thanks for further addling my already addled brain.
Now you’ve got me weighing in on Jolene’s blog, too. And, something to know about me is that once I get to thinking hard about something, I rarely find time to stop. It’s quite a problem, actually…so, I’ll just blame you when the laundry piles up for the next month.
Kimiko said this on January 23rd, 2008 at 6:14 pm
From my friend Allison
Matthew, I don’t know Jolene at all - to me, it sounds like she’s working out and testing the limits of her knowledge in this new setting. I can see the intention that she starts with - which is a good one - that she’s seeking to cultivate a new theological perspective for a historically oppressed people. As someone interested in postcolonial theory myself, and as someone who wants to teach in Africa someday as well, I think that her efforts are interesting and admirable.
That said, I do have concerns about the emphasis that she places on these cultural contexts, which, if we follow them so closely, rule out the value and importance of our own cultural context, which prize monogamy and see marriage, even in Protestant churches, as an act of union and participation with Christ.
I totally agree with Jolene on the fact that polygamy is itself an institution in Africa, and I agree that throwing a “Western” spin on marriages to supposedly earn God’s favor is a colonizing act itself. But, while the institution of polygamy is there, I also worry about its effects: how does polygamy truly enable African women to be supported (besides relying on a husband?) How does polygamy contribute to the spread of AIDS and other STDS? How does polygamy affect the standard of living in Africa, which, if most people in Uganda (where Jolene’s at, right?) live in abject poverty, how does it affect polygamous families where one husband has to provide for many wives, and many children?
Marriage is an institution because, while allowing us to participate in the love of Christ for his church, it also allows us to participate in a structure that provides care and stability for a family, which is another demonstration of that love and care that Christ does have for his church. Polygamous families have provided that care and support, but I think the question of a husband’s love for many women (and Christ’s ability to love many as well) is less viable when it comes down to the complications of polygamy in Africa itself. I don’t have a bunch of reports linking polygamy to poverty and AIDS, and don’t blame polygamy alone for those factors, but they do offer those concerns.
MEH said this on January 23rd, 2008 at 10:22 pm
Proof-Texting:
All forms of marriage and human union are acceptable in God’s eyes — S/He is a bisexual polygamist. Well, a transgender polygamist. If God is neither male nor female and is married to males and females making up The Church…isn’t that a general green-light for human-to-human love? or even multiple-humans-to-multiple-humans love? I mean, God IS love! S/He even loves animals…and plants and inorganic compounds and nonmatter, and anything that can exist within or without a vacuum… So maybe we should all think real hard about what an ancient book (which was written in a different time and to an entirely different culture) says is “right” vs. “wrong” and choose to look at “marriage” as a union of souls (each of whom is a spark off the Great Flame) rather than a proper/improper or sinful/righteous union of bodies.
Beth said this on February 5th, 2008 at 2:48 am